When Gratitude Feels Hard and That JUST Makes Sense
The holiday season is often portrayed as joyful, abundant, and full of connection. But for many people, this time of year feels layered with grief, stress, financial pressure, or emotional fatigue.
You might be:
missing someone who isn’t here this year
carrying unspoken family tension
worried about money or obligations
feeling emotionally depleted instead of festive
If traditional gratitude practices feel forced or hollow right now, you’re not failing at mindfulness, you’re responding honestly to your reality.
At Inspired Healing Therapy, we often remind clients:
gratitude is not about pretending things are okay. It’s about noticing what’s tolerable, supportive, or steady within what’s hard.
Moving Away From “Toxic Positivity” During the Holidays
Toxic positivity shows up when we feel pressure to:
“look on the bright side”
feel grateful instead of sad
override grief with cheer
But research and clinical experience both show that emotional suppression often increases distress, especially during grief-heavy seasons.
The American Psychological Association highlights that acknowledging difficult emotions rather than bypassing them supports long-term mental health, and this article explains further how research indicates that validation is associated with reductions in what we may label as negative emotions.
Mindful joy doesn’t ask you to replace sadness with happiness.
It invites both to coexist.
What Is Micro-Joy? (And Why It Matters)
Micro-joy refers to small, neutral-to-pleasant moments that don’t require emotional intensity or optimism.
Examples include:
noticing warmth from a mug in your hands
stepping outside for fresh air
a familiar song in the background
a moment of quiet before the day begins
These moments matter because they gently signal safety to the nervous system. According to research summarized by Verywell Mind, mindfulness practices that focus on sensory awareness can reduce stress and emotional overwhelm without forcing positive reframes .Read more about these benefits here.
Micro-joy is not about “feeling better.”
It’s about feeling present enough.
Therapist-Approved Ways to Practice Gratitude When Things Feel Heavy
Here are a few approaches our clinicians often share with clients — especially those navigating grief or holiday stress.
1. Shift From “What Am I Grateful For?” to “What Is Helping Me Get Through Today?”
This removes pressure and allows gratitude to be practical rather than emotional.
Examples:
“This blanket is warm.”
“I had a moment of quiet in the car.”
“I made it through today.”
This aligns with trauma-informed therapy approaches that focus on safety and regulation before reflection (learn more about trauma-informed therapy at Inspired Healing Therapy).
2. Let Gratitude Be Neutral
Gratitude doesn’t have to feel uplifting to be real.
A clinician example:
“One client shared that their gratitude practice during grief was simply naming what felt less heavy that day. That became enough.”
Neutral gratitude helps reduce nervous system activation without demanding joy.
3. Practice “Both/And” Thinking
Gratitude doesn’t cancel grief.
You might hold:
sadness and appreciation
exhaustion and relief
longing and comfort
Family systems and grief research consistently show that allowing emotional complexity reduces burnout and emotional suppression (Psychology Today provides a helpful overview of grief and emotional coexistence) .
When Gratitude Feels Impossible — Pause Instead
Some days, even micro-joy feels out of reach. On those days, mindfulness can look like:
slowing your breath
unclenching your jaw
resting your eyes
choosing not to engage
This is still care.
If you’re navigating grief, stress, or emotional fatigue this season, therapy can offer support that meets you where you are without pressure to reframe or rush healing. Our clinicians work with individuals navigating grief and the holidays using grounded, compassionate approaches.
A Gentle Holiday Reminder
You don’t need to extract meaning from this season.
You don’t need to feel grateful enough.
And you don’t need to perform joy to deserve care.
Mindful joy often arrives quietly…in moments that don’t announce themselves.
💛 A Gentle Invitation
If this season feels heavy and you’re looking for support that honors your pace, Inspired Healing Therapy offers trauma-informed care for individuals navigating grief, stress, and life transitions.
You’re welcome to explore working with one of our clinicians or simply take what you need from this space today.
Both are enough.
